Idea for an Epic Fantasy Story: #1 – The Geezers

Set in a strange mythical world where eagles swim and dolphins fly, The Geezers chronicles the exploits of an unusual High Fantasy outfit.

“Why is this outfit so unusual?”, you ask.

“It avoids hackneyed fantasy tropes”, is my firm reply. I look you right in the eye as I say this, so confident am I in my retort, and you back away sheepishly.

Forget the predictable Dwarf/Elf/Human protagonist triumvirate, so common in the derivative nonsense that constitutes the bulk of fantasy fiction. Forget elderly wizards nailing orcs with oaken staffs, wood elves firing arrows through the eyes of needles, and valiant females fighting under the guise of males. We’ve had enough of that kind of thing, thank you very much.

Instead, imagine if Danny Dyer and Ray Winston were given medieval weapons and placed in a High Fantasy setting as the protagonists in a good-versus-evil struggle.

A bit more interesting, eh?

Sure, they quest after magical gemstones, consult sorcerers and hunt down mountain orcs.  It is High Fantasy after all!  But they also drink to excess and become involved in savage bar brawls, often battering innocent patrons who get in the way.

Of course the Geezers will rescue the daughter of the King from the dungeons of the Necromancer.  But they’ll probably all “have a go on her” on the way back.

“One for the Convent, two for us!” is the mantra of the Geezers when returning stolen treasure they’ve recovered. Sure, pious eyebrows will be raised when the chest is returned 66.6% lighter. But a cheeky grin and a wink is all it takes for the suspicion to melt away.

Men want to be them, women want them to be in them. They are the Geezers.