A pair of star-cross’d lovers (Johnny is Back)

Greetings, Shipmates.

It’s been a while since I last posted to this blog. It’s been a long while indeed, since I last held you enraptured with my characteristic blend of powerful insight and intrigue.

If a lighthouse-keeper leaves his post, the ships that depend upon his guiding lamp are betrayed to a violent end amongst rocky outcrops and the ruthless scavenging of coastal folk. When a shepherd forsakes his flock, his woolly charges are rendered easy pickings for ravening wolves and Welchmen.

For the Johnny Fisher to abandon his ethereal craft for two years and leave his loyal crew to the capricious whims of the Seas of Intrigue is perhaps the most serious crime of all. I wholeheartedly apologise for this uncharacteristic lapse in my characteristically prodigious levels of output.

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Ambience Engineer: #3 – Post-Cataclysmic Waterworld

We live in banal times. You may deny this, but you would be wrong, and stupid, to do so.

Today the dribbling masses are entertained in increasingly inane ways by increasingly moronic individuals. Pursuit of the Arcane has been abandoned in favour of the pursuit of superficial and meaningless fame, despite the fact that we are still largely ignorant to the true nature of the Cosmos and the muted whistling of star-bound chimaeras. Terrible, ultimate Knowledge lies within our grasp, but our hands have grown withered and closed, and – to continue the analogy – several of the tendons of our arms have actually snapped (i.e. making it even more difficult to grasp at our full extent).

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The Zombies Are Here

The news is being reported all over the blogosphere. The zombie holocaust has begun.

It began with a naked bloke in Miami eating the face off another bloke. It continued with a guy in Maryland eating the heart and brain of another guy.

Now a sceptic might ask that, as both of these events occurred in America, might this not be less of a zombie holocaust, and more of a natural progression of a culture based entirely upon worship of slaughter and violence?

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Idea for an Epic Fantasy Story: #1 – The Geezers

Set in a strange mythical world where eagles swim and dolphins fly, The Geezers chronicles the exploits of an unusual High Fantasy outfit.

“Why is this outfit so unusual?”, you ask.

“It avoids hackneyed fantasy tropes”, is my firm reply. I look you right in the eye as I say this, so confident am I in my retort, and you back away sheepishly.

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Dickens meets Tolkien?

I was absent-mindedly perusing the internet recently when the following headline caught my eye:

Tolkien and Dickens grandsons join for book

I don’t wish to seem overly vulgar, nor do I want the integrity of my digestive system to be called into question, but upon reading those words I more or less shat all over myself.

“The heirs of Tolkien and Dickens collaborating on a book?!” I thought, giddy as a girl with a new pair of shoes. “This will unquestionably constitute the best thing that has ever happened in the history of mankind!”

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