Ambience Engineer: #2 – Post-Apocalyptic Motorcycle Raid

We live in banal times. You may deny this; but you would be wrong (and stupid) to do so.

Today the masses are entertained in increasingly inane ways by increasingly moronic individuals. Pursuit of the arcane has been abandoned, in favour of pursuit of superficial fame, despite the fact we are still largely ignorant to the true nature of the Cosmos and the muted whistling of star-bound chimaeras. Terrible, ultimate Knowledge lies within our grasp, but our hands have grown withered and taut, and (to continue the analogy) several of the tendons of our forearms have actually snapped (i.e. making it even more difficult to grasp at our full extent).

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A big Fisher in an overpopulated pond: when Johnny went to London

Several months ago I made the decision to travel to London for a couple of days.

The primary reason for the trip – I wanted to catch the London leg of Rush’s Time Machine Tour, which was scheduled to take place in the 02 Arena on 25th May.  The secondary reason concerned a nuanced sociological research experiment that I planned to undertake (which later came to be referred to as a “Cockney Hunt”).

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Ambience Engineer: #1 – Futuristic Consumerist Dystopia

We live in banal times. You may deny this; but you would be wrong (and stupid) to do so.

Today the masses are entertained in increasingly inane ways by increasingly moronic individuals. Pursuit of the arcane has been abandoned, in favour of pursuit of superficial fame, despite the fact we are still largely ignorant to the true nature of the Cosmos and the muted whistling of star-bound chimaeras. Terrible, ultimate Knowledge lies within our grasp, but our hands have grown withered and taut, and (to continue the analogy) several of the tendons of our forearms have actually snapped (i.e. making it even more difficult to grasp at our full extent).

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Wizard Rock

Somebody suggested to me recently that J Mascis is in fact the same person as Saruman the White.

Naturally I laughed at such a ridiculous concept, and berated them for their utter stupidity. “Sure, J’s got long white hair”, said I, “But he’s an American grunge pioneer, not an immortal sorcerer from the Land of the Valar! Where is his staff? Show me his cloak! You are a total idiot, mum.”

But later that night, I confess my mind returned to the matter. I was working into the small hours on my seminal Tolkien musical suite, The Seven Sons of Fëanor, when the comment resurfaced in my thoughts, like a stealthy Russian Shark-class nuclear sub, unseen until it breaks the waves.

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Musings on Coolness

When they are posed the question “Who is the Coolest Person on Earth?”, people with infirm opinions typically require several minutes to answer, stammering and muttering indecisively. When they eventually get round to evincing their (wrong) opinion, the questioner has usually wandered off due to boredom.

On the other hand, those of us equipped with robust opinions and a staunchly decisive personality fire back an unshakable answer to this question with such intense swiftness that the questioner is often stunned, typically wincing in the realisation that they have found themselves in the embarrassing position of having had insufficient time to prepare a follow-up question.

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