Ambience Engineer: #3 – Post-Cataclysmic Waterworld

We live in banal times. You may deny this, but you would be wrong, and stupid, to do so.

Today the dribbling masses are entertained in increasingly inane ways by increasingly moronic individuals. Pursuit of the Arcane has been abandoned in favour of the pursuit of superficial and meaningless fame, despite the fact that we are still largely ignorant to the true nature of the Cosmos and the muted whistling of star-bound chimaeras. Terrible, ultimate Knowledge lies within our grasp, but our hands have grown withered and closed, and – to continue the analogy – several of the tendons of our arms have actually snapped (i.e. making it even more difficult to grasp at our full extent).

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Response to “Quads”

This is a personal response to a recent post by my esteemed colleague I_PWN_YER_MA_84.

Using my extraordinary powers of image manipulation, I have designed a film poster that, I hope, will provide momentum for PWN’s “Quads” project, giving vision for an ambitious director/producer partnership to take the idea into production.

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The Awesomeness of ASCII

I dislike the adjective awesome, and I generally refrain from using it.

When I hear it, the word brings to mind a vivid image – namely, dreadlocked Australians standing around on an extraordinarily hot beach, drinking tasteless lager out of diminutive bottles whilst cradling surfboards and attesting to their particular levels of stoked-ness at some singularly uninteresting event or achievement.

There is not a single element within that vision that does not give me the creeps, and I therefore have tried to avoid experiencing it by dropping the word awesome from my vocabulary.

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Attention Film Industry – Greatness is Upon You

A few years ago I found myself engaged in conversation with a mid-level film producer whilst waiting for a train. As we stood on the platform, he enquired, possibly simply out of politeness, whether I had any good ideas for films (though the fact he waited so long to broach such an obvious topic would seem to indicate genuine interest spurred by some element in our conversation prior to that point which had enabled him to identify me as a formidable creative force.)

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Ambience Engineer: #2 – Post-Apocalyptic Motorcycle Raid

We live in banal times. You may deny this, but you would be wrong, and stupid, to do so.

Today the dribbling masses are entertained in increasingly inane ways by increasingly moronic individuals. Pursuit of the Arcane has been abandoned in favour of the pursuit of superficial and meaningless fame, despite the fact that we are still largely ignorant to the true nature of the Cosmos and the muted whistling of star-bound chimaeras. Terrible, ultimate Knowledge lies within our grasp, but our hands have grown withered and closed, and – to continue the analogy – several of the tendons of our arms have actually snapped (i.e. making it even more difficult to grasp at our full extent).

The Young wield lipsticks and copies of “Nuts” magazine, where once they wielded telescopes and the Scouting manuals of Baden-Powell. The Old comment with ribald derision on the “packages” of tight-trousered celebrities, where once they spoke of the mystical encounters of their youth betwixt mulberry bushes, deep in fairy-ridden copses. Valiant warriors are a thing of a past; replaced have they been by heavily-armed delinquent simpletons, careering around Arab lands in mucky Jeeps on the lookout for heavily-chested desert maidens.

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What spaceships should look like

In a recent article entitled What should spaceships look like?, the BBC asks the following question:

As the next generation of spaceships is being conceived, should shuttle designers take their inspiration from sci-fi illustrators?

In posing such a question the BBC have clearly displayed their ignorance of this very blog. Had they been paying attention, they would know I have already definitively answered this question.

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